Does it mean that you are weak?
Afraid of being abused again?
Possibly not even a 'real' men?

You're not alone in thinking or feeling like this!

Many men who eventually contact us fear that they would be seen as weak, unable to cope with life, and unable to be the strong man they are supposed to be.

So lets think it through, because what you are trying to do is cope with a childhood fear, but doing so as an adult man, and therefore are bringing adult logic into action, so it confuses you even more, as you know its the childhood pain that is causing the hurt and pain you feel

Working on that premise, to finally speak out takes immense courage and inner strength, which we all possess, but something we also lose along the way, but by starting to speak, we slowly but surely start to break the secrets and silence which was imposed upon us

Here are a few issues that cause us problems before healing is started:

* Many male survivors are fearful and isolate themselves from other men.
* You may have difficulty in being ' seen' or undressing in communal showers or locker rooms.
* You avoid using public toilets if you can do so.
* You avoid male activities or even being in the same room with other men.
* Most of us have had abusive or unavailable male role models.

As a result, you often feel flawed as a man and experience major issues regarding male gender shame.

Men usually deal with this in one of two ways:
By over-compensating with a need to prove masculinity through hyper-sexuality, invulnerability, and constant efforts at control and mastery;
or under-compensation, avoiding traditional male behaviors and interests (often associated with men as perpetrators)

Being in a group session with other men brings out many of the underlying issues associated with gender shame, which makes it easier to conquer and overcome. Here are some examples:

In group therapy sessions, you have:

* The chance to find out that what you think, feel and experience is not wrong or perverted
* The chance to find true partners in healing, and true friends to support you
* The chance to know that you're not alone in this struggle
* The chance to be yourself, perhaps for the first time in your life

So why not give a group session a try? There is no real fear in being afraid, and admitting that, and then getting over it in time